i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
