I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
