Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
