Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
