i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My breasts were aching with rage.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
