I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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