I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
