the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
