she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
