let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
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