She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
