he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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