I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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