when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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