your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can't turn off my feet"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
