OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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