I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
