Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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