No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
