brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
