But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
