Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
