ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
