people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize