She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
