Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
did you just send me my own nude
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
