I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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