omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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