Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
