Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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