I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
