Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
