CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
