It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
