I could have mohawked her pubes.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
