I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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