We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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