the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
