they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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