remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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