Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
