Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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