he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
