If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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