Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
