areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
