Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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