This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
