so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
