i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize