it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
