how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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