also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
When are your genitals available?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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