I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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