i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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