I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Randomize
