I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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