This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
