He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
