So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
