Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
