margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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