and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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