How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
